How to Support Your Diabetes Partner Without Offending Them

Jolina recently found out that her husband, Nick, has been diagnosed with diabetes. She’s confused and devastated because she knows anything about the condition, let alone how to support her partner without offending him.

Having a husband or a spouse who has diabetes can be challenging. The challenge is in wanting to help make the journey easier for them.

But at the same time, you don’t want to offend them.

How do you support your partner without offending them or making them look pathetic?

There are a few things you can do that they’ll appreciate. Most of all, these tips would prevent you from upsetting your spouse.

Let’s get to it.

#1. Support your diabetes partner by taking interest in diabetes

The best way to help your diabetes partner is to learn about the disease.

No, I’m not turning you into a doctor.

But it helps to know what the disease is, what the readings mean, what dose of medicines they take, and how to act in emergencies, like when his blood sugar is too high or too low.

Another thing you can learn to do is to know how to give insulin shots or prick the finger to check blood sugar.

When you have these skills under your belt, you’d be really supportive to your partner, especially when they can’t do those things themselves.

#2. Show concern, but don’t go overboard

Sometimes we’re so concerned about the health of our loved ones, that we end up irritating them.

In the process of caring, we end up asking questions like; “are you sure you should have that?”, or “can you eat that?

Asking questions like that irritates them. In a way, it’s like you’re a watchman to their diet. Your spouse would definitely not appreciate that.

Here’s another example of being overly concerned.

Let’s say you have a brother who lives away from you and has diabetes. What’s the question we normally ask immediately we see them or they answer the phone when we call?

You guessed right; “how’s your diabetes?”

This may sound like a harmless and thoughtful question. But think about it. Do you expect them to tell you how much they hate the disease? Should you be the one to keep reminding them they have diabetes?

For God’s sake, there’s no single moment where they’re not thinking about it. Let’s give them a few minutes’ breaks by having a normal conversation with them.

Have faith that they’re doing all they can to manage diabetes, and offer assistance only when it is needed.

#3. Support whenever you can, but let them manage their affairs

Sometimes you get carried away by caring that you almost become like your partner’s diabetes doctor.

Eat this, don’t eat that, blah, blah, blah!

Most people have shown how irritated they feel. Instead, support your diabetes partner whenever you can. Be there when their sugar is high or low.

I am T2, and my husband knows how to care for my spikes and crashes, even though I control my BS very well. I am on 70/30. He knows what dosage I take, and when. If I take a larger/smaller dose than normal, I make sure to let him know what I took and WHY. I have him practice calculating, drawing up, and injecting me (periodically)

–Illian

You can even learn to make diabetes-friendly recipes for your partner. Or provide first aid when they’re having symptoms.

Here’s what my classmate Peter said; “I don’t think straight when my sugar is low. It’ll help if my partner always has snacks around”.

You can ask your partner what he’d like you to do for him. That would speak volumes.

#4. Don’t be constantly nagging

As humans, we are normally quick to push blames. So what do you do when your partner becomes careless and the sugar goes too high or too low?

You guessed right… you start to nag and point fingers.

Nagging may be done out of pure intentions. But how do you think your partner would feel?

Another scenario;

What would you do if one day at the restaurant your partner buys a whole bunch of unhealthy snacks, say ice creams and cakes, and decides to eat all in one sitting?

Would you reprimand them?

Trust me, they already know it’s not good for them. So please spare them the reminder. Why not sit quietly and watch them have fun a bit.

You can help them bring the sugar down later in the day. That way, you’d both have peace of mind.

But what if your partner gets angry unnecessarily?

#5. Be patient when their mood swings

Most people have complained about their partners being irritable and angry when their sugar is high or low.

Research has shown that changes or fluctuations in blood sugar can affect a person’s mental status or mood.

But you need to note that diabetes isn’t the only thing that can cause someone to be irritated. Let’s face it. You sometimes get angry and irritated too.

So when your diabetes partner is having mood swings or symptoms of a bad mood, don’t quickly conclude that their sugar is high. It helps to be patient with them.

But sometimes it’s hard to contain all the BS from them.

Here’s what Jane said;

This is a real issue because he does get very irritable and angry when his sugar is low or high. I try to resist the urge to reply and just ride it out for 30 minutes…The problem with me not saying anything is that I stay secretly sad for an hour or so because I’ve been treated badly

So when their behavior is getting out of control, what’s the best way to handle such a situation?

Communication!

#6. Have honest discussions

It’s okay to voice out your feelings, as long as you have empathy in mind.

You can say something like; “I feel so unappreciated when you yell at me like that”.

Saying something like this would make your spouse consider how you feel. Who knows, probably they even don’t know they’re affecting you in any way.

That’s why it helps to voice your concerns.

One more thing to note. You don’t have to have this kind of conversation when they’re still in a bad mood.

Instead, wait till everything is calm and clear, then you communicate with them.

The bottom line?

People with diabetes are already stressed enough about their condition. I bet that whenever they raise the fork to their lips, they think about their disease. They are thinking about their sugar almost every time.

It’s your responsibility as a spouse to give them every help and a bit of comfort. When you avoid nagging or bossing them around, you take interest in their condition, and you take your time with them, things would be easier for both of you.

Jolina, mentioned in the beginning paragraph, is now happy with Nick. “ I now know what to do when his sugar is low. I make sure he never runs out of diabetes supplies. And I’ve made all our meals diabetes-friendly.”

It’s your turn. How have you dealt with your spouse’s diabetes? Kindly leave your comments.