Is It Wrong To Discipline Your Child

“I didn’t break the vase!” said a six-year-old girl to her parents, her big blue eyes pleading her innocence. Her persistent denial cut her parents so deep that they wept. They knew she was lying.

As a parent, have you ever had to go through such an emotional experience? When confronted with a similar situation, how would you discipline your child? Is it wrong to discipline your child?

What really is discipline?

Discipline does not only refer to punishment. It primarily refers to instruction, education, and correction. Parenting could be likened to a gardener growing plants. He prepares the soil, waters the plants, and provides everything that would ensure the proper growth of the plant. He would protect the plant from pests and weeds. As the plant grows, the gardener may prune the plant for it to grow in the right direction.

Like the gardener, parents would do anything in their power to ensure that their children grow up into desirable adults. But just as the gardener needs to prune the plant for it to grow in the right direction, parents need to discipline their children.

Pruning, when not done correctly, would harm the plant greatly. In the same way, the wrong kind of discipline would do more harm than good to the child. How can parents administer the right kind of punishment to their children?

Three things would guide parents when disciplining their children. Discipline needs to be administered lovingly, should make sense, and should not be confusing.

Discipline reasonably

A good parent considers all the circumstances surrounding the incident, including factors that are not so obvious. One parent said: “When my child misbehaves, I repeatedly ask myself: ‘Is this a one-time incident or an ongoing negative trait?’”

Another parent said that what helps him keep things in perspective and avoid overreacting is to remind himself of what he used to do when he was a boy.

Parents need to be realistic in their expectations and, at the same time not justify their children’s wrongdoing. By considering the circumstance, you would ensure that your discipline is fitting and reasonable.

Administer discipline in a loving way

Love is the fundamental reason why parents discipline their children. For this reason, discipline should not be abusive and cruel. Neither is it constant criticism and harsh words, all of which could hurt one’s feelings.

In some situations, a parent’s patience may be stretched to the limit. However, a parent would do well to remember that punishment administered out of anger is not discipline, but the loss of self-control. Instead of reacting to the misbehavior of your child while you are still angry, it would be better to wait until your initial anger has subsided. That way you would be in the right frame of mind to look closely at the wrongdoing and give the right kind of discipline. By so doing, the discipline would be well received by your child, and the right results would be achieved.

Let your yes mean yes

Parents need to be consistent when training their children. If your standards change based on your mood and circumstances, your children would be confused and frustrated. If you warn your children of the consequences of certain wrongdoing, be sure to carry that out. This would make the child mindful of your words in the future.

One thing that parents should take note of is to communicate with each other regarding the kind of discipline to give to children. One father says: “if our children get me to agree to something that my wife told them they could not do when I become aware of it, I reverse my decision to back up my wife.”

If parents don’t agree on how to handle a situation, they should discuss those differences in private and arrive at a unified decision.

Children need to be disciplined

Just as a plant with proper care would grow into a tree of good value, the same way employing good parental discipline would help your child to grow into a matured, responsible, and a balanced adult. Therefore, administer discipline in a loving yet firm manner, let your yes mean yes, and be reasonable when disciplining the child. Remember, discipline is more of correction, instruction, and education. Follow these three guidelines, and you would save yourself and your child from the grieve that comes from making wrong decisions in future by the child.